Ahhhhhh. Life is great on my personal level. For the most part. We're still cleaning out g-ma's house and stuff, and that's all full of stress and shiz. BUT. I have a great friend to help me through life. :)  Here's my favorite picture of us ever. It was the first one taken of the both of us, and, yes, James is being goofy. And making me laugh. Hence my real smile in the picture. haha. Here.

I know, we're hot. lol, hell, we're so hot we make FIRE stop drop and roll. XD This was taken after a hard night of bowling and terrorizing WalMart at 1 in the morning and then driving around random Volvo lots, all while dying of laughter or having unbelievably deep conversations. ^_^  Haha. ahhhhh.

Yes, i'm stickin my tongue out at the camera, and yes, James is laughing at me. XD Good times.

And I actually wrote him a kind of letter thing telling him EXACTLY what he means to me. Well, it was a journal entry on my facebook, and I was kinda sorting out my thoughts on this whole friendship with no walls thing. Cuz there is no wall between me and him. I tore my wall down for him. that's how much his friendship means to me. He is officially the only one who can kill me now. Well, kill who I am, kill my personality, kill my perky happiness. And then, since he doesn't have a facebook and is never on his myspace, I sent it to his parent's email so they could let him read it. As long as they knew it wouldn't freak him out or he wouldn't take it the wrong way and be weirded out. And he called me after he read it today. :)  I didn't get to talk to him about it much, cuz I was half alseep and unfocused and he was driving and I didn't want him to have a wreck or something equally terrible. :(  So I'mma gonna call him tomorrow around 2 and talk to him on his feelings on the whole note thing. Or just talk. I find it easier to talk 'personally' in person. lol  But dad #2, his stepdad, wrote back to me and said that James is kinda private on his thoughts, so he(his step) didn't ask him about James' thoughts, but James did smile when he read what I wrote. Yay. :) Just knowing he smiled was enough for me, really. lol I was terrified hed be weirded out and wouldn't talk to me or would leave me. But he didn't. He called me. :)  lol, and the only thing he complained about from the note was "You used my FULL NAME? WTF?" lol, so I took his middle name out of the note on facebook. lol  

So... I'mma gonna call him tomorrow and talk to him. lol  Anyways...

I like to draw on my face. Idk who else knows that, but I did a really kik ass tattoo under my eye the other day. I took a few pics. Most of them are going to be posted on my deviantart account, so look there. I'll see if I can get one up here as well. lol

And I just like that last one. XD

G'nite all! Love, Kat

Ok, i know I haven't been here in forever. My hair is still short, but it's black and blue now. And awesome still. lol. Oh and I have discovered my best friend. Ever. So here is an entry on my feelings on him. and yes, my profile pic is a pic of me and him. His name? James Lee Turner, aged 20, born on Jan.14. He is the most wonderful person ever. I love him to death. :)

And yes, to those wondering, the part of me that is obsessed with PoTC freaked out when I found out what his last name was all those months ago. ;)

And on other news, my grandfather passed away in Oct. and my grandmother passed away on March 9th. It's been extremely difficuly on everyone. Which is another reason why I put James in such a bright spot. He's been there for me all the way thru it. Let me explain that before Saturday night, we were friends. Good friends. And before last saturday, we had played video games together(he kicked my ass) and we moved up to great friends. Last saturday was the first time we've actually been really alone together and have truly talked to each other about more than general conversation, and have hung out someplace other than my house. And that was when we moved up to best friends. Me and Cassie had planned on going bowling to relieve all our stress and get away from it all. well, she ended up bringing a couple other gals, and I brought James. And Cass kinda ditched us, so me and James... well, here, read it.

Saturday night flippin rocked!!!

Ok... the part with me and James was fucking awesome, let's put it that way. Cass and the other two gals wanted to leave after me and james had only played for half a game. Cuz instead of waiting outside so we could all go to our lane and start at the same time, they went inside. Since me and James were considerate and didn't want to go in and start without them, we sat in my car for 15 minutes waiting for someone who didn't bother to wait for us. But at least we weren't bored in my car. I was constantly calling Cassie's phone to find out where they were(and cussing her out using quite colorful words.) and me and James just talked and we listened to music that he had on his phone, and i about died laughing.. Anyway, So they bowled half our game for us, and then wanted to leave to do something else after that. Fuck no! I'm not paying $13 to bowl half a game and leave. Screw that. If I pay to bowl, I'm getting at least one full game in before I leave. So we all played another game, and the two gals cass was with took off before me and james were even done with our last turns. Talk about fucking rude. And then almost the whole time we were there, me and James were sitting together by ourselves. the other girls cass brought didn't even try to really talk to us. lol, at one point, I leaned over and was all like "Do u feel like we're just tagging along here?" and James was all like, "Yeah, just a lil bit" So me and James had fun making fun of the people in the lanes next to us. And then they left cuz they had curfew, but then me and James went to walmart to hang out and guess who we saw? Yup. The girls who "had curfew." Trust me, I was pissed.

BUUUUT, I should be thanking them. If they hadn't've pulled out on bowling that early, me and James would never have gone to walmart to hang out. Let me say this. The world is not ready for me and James to be super close friends. We are onery. XD but I don't care what the world's ready for. I'm happy I can think of James as my best friend.

Last night was seriously the funnest time I've had in my life.James had me cracking up sooo bad! And all we did was walk around walmart like a million times, looking at shit and being awesome and talking, and James had me about dying of laughter. So i don't even know how long we were there. We didn't get home til about 2am, so we were there for a while. :) And then when we were done at walmart(came out with no bags. XD) we caught snowflakes on our tongues in the parking lot. And then we drove around the Volvo dealership, checking out cars and just laughing. And the whole time we were in the car, we were talking. No radio on, nothing. Just talking. About everything, too, pretty much. He IS my best friend. No doubt about it. I trust him completely, and I can talk to him about everything. I told him stuff about my feelings on the stuff that's happened lately that I haven't told anyone. And he helped me through it. He IS helping me through it. I actually cried that night when i was driving and we were talking about shit. It was a good cry tho, it was needed. It's the first time i've cried about all the shit that's going on since it's happened. I never cry, so I needed to let it out. And James LET me let it out. He didn't shun me or back off like he wasn't sure he really wanted to be there, or freak out that I wasn't being the optimistic Kat that he knew and loved. And he didn't just sit there while I babbled and cried. He talked me thru it, he didn't make me feel like I was talking to air, didn't make me feel like he wasn't listening. I KNOW he was listening. He let me be broken and torn up. And then when I had let it all out, he healed me. He pulled me up from where I had fallen and put me back together again.

I want to thank him. lol, I thanked him a million times Saturday night, I know, but i wonder if he knows how much I truly appreciate it. He did what I said I needed so badly... that whole escape thing? Yeah, he was my escape. And he did what I needed. He let me talk and cry and be the broken Kat, and he didn't try to laugh it off right away. We really really talked about my problems and he told me about some of his that related to mine... he related to me, he knows what i'm feeling what i'm going thru in my head. Cuz I told him and he's been there. The talking like that came after the bowling and walmart and the volvo dealer. We had a ton of fun, and I'm relaxed now. I don't feel like I'm going to explode anymore. I KNOW I have a best friend who will listen to me and let me soak his shirt if I need to, I have somone who will talk to me and fix me when I'm broken, and he's someone who will willingly give me a hug cuz he knows that sometimes that's all I really need, is a quick hug to let me know that someone's there.  And he's only 20...turned 20 on Jan.14, so technically he's only a year older than me. And I can seriously trust him with anything. When I told him I was gonna tell him something I hadn't really even told my mom, he just listened. And he talked me through it. He helped me feel better. A TON better. He IS my best friend. Because he listened and was my escape that night, I feel a ton better. I don't feel all stressed out anymore, and my shoulders don't ache from the tension and stress. And that night, when I finally wound down and went to sleep, I actually slept well. When I'm troubled or stressed or whatev, I don't sleep well. my sleep is interrupted by anything, I tense up and am sore in the morning, I have nightmares when i do sleep, etc... Since Saturday night when I spilled my guts to James, when I sleep, I'm relaxed and happy and stress free....and I'm dead to the world when i slept. No nightmares, no waking up at the slightest noise, no sore muscles in the morning from being tensed up at night...  It's great.

I can't imagine life without James now. Life without a best friend would be horrid. It's hard, not having someone ur own age to talk to and have them cheer u up. I know, I lived without him for a long time.... Gawd, it only took me 18 years to find him. lmao

I mean, yeah I coulda told my girl friends that, but all my girl friends either kinda nod and say 'yeah' once in a while, or I feel odd cuz they're used to optimistic me, and I think they're only pretending to listen so the optimistic me will come back, u know? They make me feel like they're only listening so I can't accuse them of being fake or something. They make me feel like I'm horrid for spilling to them. I didn't feel like that when i talked to James. I felt like James truly cared about what I was saying, truly was listening and genuinely wanted to help me through it. He was/is my escape. I can't explain it really... i think it's something u have to experience to actually know what I mean. And no, to those fuckers out there, it's NOT because he's a guy. Gender has nothing to do with it. Gender doesn't determine who is a friend and who's not. A lot of peope I've mentioned Saturday night's fun to asked me if it was a DATE with James. No, it wasn't. It was two great friends going out for a night in town to have fun and maybe become even closer friends. Like I said, I can't explain it.... lol

ahhh... wow. So the pics of me and James in that one new pic folder are allll from Saturday night. Yes, we had matching bowling bracelets. We kicked asss. lol Actually, he kicked my ass. So yeah.  I totally can't wait to give him the gift I got him for x-mas now. We're holding our christmas in July, but his gift is so awesome! He's gonna love it, i know he is. lmao

Anyway, if James is EVER on his myspace again(he's never online, the buttmunch. lol) thanks. A TON. for being my best friend, for not avoiding me when I finally broke down and cried, for being my rock. I feel like we're a ton closer now, since we both reallllly opened up to each other. And you now know things about me(well, my thoughts and feelings anyway) that people who've known me for years don't know. That's cuz I luff and trust you that much. :) And I'll do my damndest to return the favor. You're my rock and I'll be yours. I promise. :) BFF, buddy. <3 

OMG, it's been a while, eh fellow xanga dwellers? Oops.

Well, I got a job now... started working at the Casey's General Store in Andalusia on June 30th. Um... it pays pretty well, I think... $7.50 an hour. Not too bad... hey, it's money, right? XD  So I've been pretty busy working there.

So, I'm kinda pissed off at all my 'friends' from RHS.... The only friends of mine I've seen all summer, outside of them coming to Casey's for gas or food, is Amber and Cassie. I see Dana once in a while too. But everyone else? I apparently don't exist.... talking to me on the internet is NOT the same as hanging out. But hey, I've learned my lesson. True friends are the ones who will still come over or hang out after graduation... so I've got about 3 of them. Shit on the rest of you I guess. Oh, plus my wonderful James Turner and his cousin, Megan Hayslett. His mom and stepdad are best friends with my mom. And Megan's with them all the time, and so she usually comes over here when they come over. :) I love those people. James' mom is Mumsy, aka mom #2, and his stepdad is Dadsy, aka Dad #2. They're fun to be around and James is so sweet! Megan totally kiks some ass when it comes to friendship... that girl is the ultimate friend. :) I love them all. <3

Uhm, what else... I finally found a store that sells POCKY! It's a favorite japanese snack of mine... it's delicious! And I FINALLY found some in the QC! Yay! It's FYE and they;re upgrading their anime/manga/videogame merchandise/japanese stuff section since the Otaku thing is becoming bigger in the QC area. Anime is awesome, Pocky is delicious, and Ramune is a delicious japanese carbonated soda in this funny lil bottle. The watermelon isn't too bad, I haven't tried the other stuff... So I'm officially a full out Otaku. Go me. Plus I have a Kirara hat from Inuyasha. I pwn. X}

Uh.... yeah. I also have an official Severus Snape shirt from HP and a Sirius Black shirt, also from HP.

So this weekend should be fun. Friday is payday, so I'm taking my sister to see Hairspray and then we're going to the mall.... to go to Hot Topic for some pants for Kat here -coffaswellastogetsomemoreharrypotterstuffcoff- and then we're off to FYE to get some more japanese merchandise. Then maybe to Claire's so Kat can splurge and spend the rest of her 4th paycheck.... We only get paid every 2 weeks at Casey's... but that means the paychecks LOOK bigger. Tee hee.

Ok, I think that's enough of an update... OH! And I got my hair cut/colored..... It now looks like Reno's from FFVII:AC. IT KICKS ASSSSSSSSSSSS! I love it... But it only looks like his if I style it that way with gels and crap... it's a pain, but it's worth it. In other words... my hair is kinda hella short in the front. But I love it! XD

Ok, I'm done. More later...if I don't forget this site again. Hee.

Currently Listening Kanashimi No Kizu By Nana Kitade see related

Hi hi hi! Ok, so there's not much to update on. Bunches of couple broke up this week... Alie & Kyle, Kelsey & Andy, and me & Dustin. We just didn't click. So we have a club....those of us who broke up this week. We have t-shirts. XD Alie & Kyle and Kelsey & Andy had long relationships tho... I hope they aren't too upset. *huggles friends*

Um. Yeah, so me and Dan are going to GamerCon this october. Yay! and I want to go thru with me Reno hairstyle. Just gotta have time to do so.

And O and Alex's baby girl was born! 7:27am, June 19th, 9 lbs, Emily Francis. She's sooo cute! O sent me piccys today. ^_^ Anyways, dinner is ready, so I'ma go eat. Byez!!!

Graduated!!!! Yessssss..... XD

Whee ha! I am officially out of high school! XD *rocks out to song on radio* Graduation was on Sunday, and I'm officially outta there! I'm still kinda sad, but I have my whole life ahead of me. Lots of hugging on Sunday, which is nice, always nice, cuz I love hugs. XD ^_~ Promised a few people that I'd keep in touch, took lots of pictures, glomped a couple of my all time favorite teachers (one of whom's class I'm not even in. He's just my potc buddy. XD), promised that I'd come back and visit in future years, almost cried when Andrew and Katy F gave me bouquets of roses, saw my Uncle Darrel for the 1st time since my Aunt Marie passed away.... It was a full and exhausting day, and it resulted in me being sad and having my picture in the Rock Island Argus newspaper and on QConline.com. Later that day, after I had calmed down a bit, I went to Amber's graduation party and had some fun there before going to town and getting ingredients for tacos, which i thoroughly enjoyed that night for dinner. It was definately a sad but awesome day! And I have declared that Kevin Gillman and Zach Versluys are the best huggers I know. XD 

Today was a fantastic day as well. Mr. Palomaki called me from BHC and scheduled an audition for a music scholarship and I called O and he said that time works out fine, so I have an official audition date! Yay! July 11 at 1:30pm in Building 4, room 115. I can't wait!  That definately brightened my day! And sometime either this week or next, I'm going job hunting! Yay!

And in June, on my birthday, the 14th, we pick up my lovely boyfriend from Davenport so he can stay here for a week! Yay! The party is on the 16th, at my house, from 5:30pm- midnight, btw, if u wanna come.

And, the best of all bests, I'VE SEEN PIRATES OF THE CARIBEAN: AT WORLD'S END THREE AWESOME HEART STOPPING TIMES!!!! I love that movie sooo much. I've dressed up 2 of the 3 times, and the only reason i didn't dress as a pirate for the 3rd time is cuz we didn't know what we were going to see til we were there. ;_; So it just means I have to go see it AGAIN to dress up again. XD  Saw Mr. Walker there, he was seeing it again, so we sat near him. It's such an awesome movie...except for a couple parts, one part i almost cried... but it's soooooo fooking kik ass! I get excited just thinking about the awesomeness! And Barbossa kiks some major ass...he's easily one of my fave charrys in this one. And Jack of course! Will is super hot at the end... *drools*  And, ladies, you get to see multiple shirtless Capt. Jacks. It was a VERY nice scene. XD

Um, what else to say. I'm gonna miss my underclassmen buddies next year... ;_;  and my fellow class of '07 buddies too....  *ish sad momentarily* 

I LOVE YOU ALL!